About 18 months ago I sat bawling in my car as I listened to this song for the first time.
Steven Curtis Chapman inadvertently wrote the words of my heart. I had no idea how badly I would long to have a baby girl until that option was taken away from us with Jill’s hysterectomy. I was totally happy with three boys. Boys are easy. Girls are whiney, catty, & sassy. Now, all I want is a sassy little baby girl.
Heaven is the face of a little girl with dark brown eyes that disappear when she smiles.
Heaven is the place where she calls my name and says “Daddy please, come play with me for a while”.
I don’t have any clue why it was part of God’s plan to have us find our daughter through adoption, but I have to assume it is His plan. It’s too painful to think otherwise.
God, I know it’s all of this and so much more.
But God, you know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know I just can’t see beyond the door.
To top it off, a couple of months ago we almost brought a foster baby into our home. We spent a lot of time with her and the outlook for adoption was good. Jill and I wanted to take the next step so badly. Yet, for some reason, after much prayer, it didn’t feel right. What do you do when you want to do something good but doesn’t feel good. It’s a strange situation to be in. So, it just stings a bit sometimes. What I really want is just to hold her and know she’s ours; whoever she is.
So, right now heaven is the sound of her breathing deep, lying on my chest falling fast asleep while I sing.
And heaven is the weight of her in my arms; being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams.
Please help us on our search for our baby girl. We don’t know where she is but we’re searching for her just as any parent would search for a lost child. Please help her come home. Share this link. Tell friends and family. Your help is greatly appreciated.
Heaven is a sweet maple syrup kiss and a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
And heaven is the place where she takes my hand and leads me to You and we both run into Your arms.
Heaven is the face of my little girl. I hope I can see her soon.
Photography by Judy Phan Photography