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Heaven Is The Face Of My Little Girl

Heaven Is The Face Of My Little Girl

About 18 months ago I sat bawling in my car as I listened to this song for the first time.

Steven Curtis Chapman inadvertently wrote the words of my heart. I had no idea how badly I would long to have a baby girl until that option was taken away from us with Jill’s hysterectomy. I was totally happy with three boys. Boys are easy. Girls are whiney, catty, & sassy. Now, all I want is a sassy little baby girl.

Heaven is the face of a little girl with dark brown eyes that disappear when she smiles.
Heaven is the place where she calls my name and says “Daddy please, come play with me for a while”.

I don’t have any clue why it was part of God’s plan to have us find our daughter through adoption, but I have to assume it is His plan. It’s too painful to think otherwise.

God, I know it’s all of this and so much more.
But God, you know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know I just can’t see beyond the door.

To top it off, a couple of months ago we almost brought a foster baby into our home. We spent a lot of time with her and the outlook for adoption was good.  Jill and I wanted to take the next step so badly.  Yet, for some reason, after much prayer, it didn’t feel right.  What do you do when you want to do something good but doesn’t feel good.  It’s a strange situation to be in.  So, it just stings a bit sometimes. What I really want is just to hold her and know she’s ours; whoever she is.

So, right now heaven is the sound of her breathing deep, lying on my chest falling fast asleep while I sing.
And heaven is the weight of her in my arms; being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams.

Please help us on our search for our baby girl. We don’t know where she is but we’re searching for her just as any parent would search for a lost child. Please help her come home. Share this link. Tell friends and family. Your help is greatly appreciated.

Heaven is a sweet maple syrup kiss and a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
And heaven is the place where she takes my hand and leads me to You and we both run into Your arms.

Heaven is the face of my little girl. I hope I can see her soon.

 

 

Photography by Judy Phan Photography
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Comments

Discussion

  1. Becky Tiffany  October 20, 2011

    Beautifully written. We completely understand your pain, desires, and efforts. I always have my eyes & ears peeled for you guys. It will all be worth it!!

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  2. Tyler  October 20, 2011

    Thanks Becky. Much appreciated.

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  3. Nadine  October 23, 2011

    Tyler,
    Your amazing! Seriously…amazing. Your light shines very bright!

    I am so moved by your story and think of you and your family often, since I first read your blog a month or so ago. I am praying for you and your family to meet your little girl and as crazy as it sounds “I have my eyes open for you”. Though we met for just a brief moment…I can tell your little girl will sure be lucky when she finds your family.

    You have had a profound impact on me, and we met for just a moment! Wow! That’s the power of God…big time.

    Blessings to you and I WILL share your story, I am so moved by it. praying for you!

    Nadine
    Nadine

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  4. Tyler  October 24, 2011

    Nadine, thank you so much. You’re so sweet. I appreciate you praying for us and keeping an eye out for us. That means a lot.

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